If you suspect your partner is cheating on you, it’s advisable to know what signs to look for and which ones to ignore. Few things can do as much damage to a relationship as errantly accusing your partner of being unfaithful.
Many times, people suspect their partner of cheating because of personal insecurities or because they themselves are cheating and therefore think the likelihood that the other person is cheating is higher.
In life, people see what they want to see and think what they want to think. So if you think your spouse is cheating on you, every action of theirs is going to be viewed through the “lens” that they are cheating on you.
Read also: How not to Let your Partner Discover Infidelity
In other words, even totally innocent behavior on their part will be turned into fuel for the fire in your mind that they are cheating on you.
Here are some things people commonly mistake as evidence of their spouse cheating
Delays in Communication
People lead busy lives. Often it can take someone a couple of hours or even a whole day to respond to a text, call or email. This certainly in no way should be used as a basis for accusing them of cheating. Of all the things a person might be occupied with that renders them unable to immediately respond to you, the only ’scary’ possibility is that they’re having an affair, so that’s what our minds immediately gravitate to. But be practical. Chances are they’re just busy with work or life.
Talking about People of the Opposite Sex
If your partner regularly mentions a man or a woman in their life, whether its a co-worker or friend, it should not be taken to mean they’re interested in this person or engaging in an affair. When people cheat, they almost never will speak of the person they are having the affair with. This is a defense mechanism designed to keep that person away from your radar.
However, if they always talk about a person and then suddenly stop talking about them completely, that could be a little alarming as it is what they would be likely to do if they had initiated an affair with that person. But even still, it more likely just means that person is not as involved in their life anymore.
Girls Night Out or Guys Night Out
If your partner has a night out with their friends, they’re probably doing just that: spending time with their friends. This is a normal practice in a healthy relationship, so don’t your thoughts get the best of you. However, if these nights out always seem to get cut short, maybe it was just a cover-up for something different.
Doesn’t Want you to See their Phone or Computer
Just because a partner doesn’t want you looking through their phone or computer doesn’t mean they have anything to hide. It could mean they have something to hide, but probably doesn’t. People need privacy and if you’re acting invasive they will correct your behavior. It does not necessarily mean they are hiding anything.
Seems too Trusting
Sometimes people find a spouse who is too trusting to be a concern. It’s as if they expect their partner to be nosy and curious about their whereabouts, and when they’re not, they become puzzled and suspect that maybe an affair is preventing them from giving a crap what you’re doing.
In reality, the opposite is usually the case. You should be more concerned if they’re being very nosy and accusatory. When they’re being laid-back and trusting, that’s actually a good thing.