Those who choose to look after their children full time know that it’s a really difficult social position to assume. Here are 8 tips to keep up with the situation and fully assume your new role as a stay-at-home mom!
According to some studies, working mothers are in better shape than those who have chosen to stay at home.
Would stop working, often seen as an easy solution, be on the way to becoming an achievement? Here are some tips for those who have decided to devote their time to children.
Make your decision a real project
You can’t give up your job, your salary and colleagues to devote yourself to a family without having thought about the short, medium and long term.
Some will opt for a period of a few years in the form of parental leave, others more. It doesn’t matter, as long as things are clear in your mind from the start. This will prevent you from feeling dragged and then ultimately trapped.
Stay-at-home mom: stay independent
Stay-at-home moms obviously cannot claim to earn as much or more than their spouse. There are laws and contracts that protect you from precariousness in the event of separation.
And ways to put your professional life on hold without closing all doors. Find out about the possible training (advanced training, specialization, etc.) if you plan to return to professional life in the short or medium term.
Keep in touch with your former colleagues. Stay informed in your area of expertise through your readings during your spare time!
Stay-at-home mom: set your own pace
Children (especially at a young age) quickly take up an almost empty schedule.
It is up to you to fill it in to avoid following the desires of a little 18-month-old all week long (and find yourself in pajamas at 10 o’clock on the playmat)!
Shopping in the place you love, cultural outings, visits to friends or family, walks: don’t deny yourself a thing! Your toddlers will follow with joy and you will not lose your interest.
There’s a difference between a full-time mom and housemaid
In fact, you don’t have to spend 3 hours a day tidying up, vacuuming and ironing.
When you were in the office all week, a big cleaning a week and a healthy dose of accountability for each member of the family was enough, so why change your method? if your means allow it, do not refuse the help of a cleaning lady either.
Stay-at-home mom: keep some free time
To avoid feeling always free and therefore never really, set up moments just for yourself each week, moments without crying, lost blanket and stairs to watch.
A movie session, a gym class, a girls’ night out: here are your important meetings that cannot be canceled.
To achieve this, allow yourself a nanny, a babysitter, or a part-time place in a daycare center once or twice a week! And ask the dad on the weekends!
Stay-at-home mother: make a deal with your spouse
Before making the decision but also afterwards, do not remain alone with your doubts and feelings. A stay-at-home mom is not a solo mom but a business owner!
The father, even if he works full time, can also find his place in the management committee … As for the question of the money, clarify the situation straight away.
And relieve guilt once and for all. Your couple works because each one fulfills a role. The money earned belongs to the household.
Planning a return to work after being a SAHM
It may have been planned from the start as a parenthesis, or the end was not really defined, but it is important to allow yourself to change course and to “go back to an active life”
While it is important to prepare our children for this “big change”, it is also essential to know where we want to go back.
Let us ask ourselves the question of what we want for the future: return to our previous job or change course and career?
If being a stay-at-home mother is an opportunity for retraining, let’s not hesitate to adapt our days to resume training. Then there will always be time to update your CV and prepare a new cover letter..
Remember the advantages of being a SAHM
When you feel left out of discussions about corporate life, eyeing a girlfriend’s trendy outfit or her vacation halfway around the world, list all the annoyances you’ve avoided when leaving your office.
A few ideas: childcare costs, the morning and evening shopping to drop off the children, meals on the go, lack of sleep, the hassle when a little one is sick, the stress of work.
Reverse make a list of everything you have won: watching your children grow up and enjoy every moment, cook fresh products, take the time to prepare for vacations and celebrations, participate in the life of your neighborhood.
In today’s society, there are sometimes embarrassed glances, half-word questions, somewhat condescending reflections… “Don’t you miss work?” “With all the studies you’ve done.” “And to think that women fought for the right to work.” “And what do you do with your days, aren’t you bored?”
Well, let’s assume our desire to focus on our essentials. Women fought to be able to choose to work, or not! We also have the right to prefer to raise or educate our children without having to apologize … And I can only imagine what men can go through who choose to be a stay-at-home dad!
Being a stay-at-home mom is a rewarding and fulfilling experience both in terms of our relationship with our children and in what it can teach us about ourselves.
For me, the important thing is to stay tuned to yourself, to your needs, not to feel pressured to “do everything”… and to allow myself to ask for help.