When you break up with someone, you might feel like there are a lot of things you should do. But what should you actually do? What should you not do? And what can you do to make the situation a little bit easier for yourself? In this post, we’ll cover all of that.
Breaking up is hard, but not everyone knows what they should do after a breakup. This article will help you navigate the breakup process and give you some pointers for what to do when you’re going through it.
Don’t be afraid to express what you’re feeling
When you’re going through a breakup, it’s natural to be confused, hurt, angry, or sad. All of those emotions can make you feel like you don’t know what to do.
That’s why you should be honest with yourself and your ex. Tell him how you really feel, and he’ll be able to deal with it better.
A good way to handle this is to write down your feelings in a letter. If you’re not good at writing, don’t worry. You can still write your feelings down in a text document. Just don’t send it to your ex!
It’s important to write everything down, including things you wish you’d said or done. Writing down your thoughts can help you see things from a different perspective and get back into the mindset you were in before the relationship ended. And it can also help you prepare for the future. Think about what you want to say to your ex, and what you’ll do when you’re ready to talk to him again.
Don’t ask about the past or reminisce on the good times
There’s nothing more heartbreaking than breaking up with someone, and it’s hard enough to deal with when you’re still in the middle of the breakup. But if you start talking about the past, you’ll only be reminded of the fact that this relationship has ended, and you’ll probably start to feel bad about yourself and feel like you’re failing at being single.
And if you start to think about the good times, you’ll start to wonder whether you’d do anything differently in order to keep the relationship going.
Instead, try to focus on the future. You don’t have to be completely positive about your relationship, but you should definitely be thinking about the future, and not dwelling on the past.
Don’t talk about the future and don’t make promises
When you’re in the middle of a breakup, you probably think about the future. You might be wondering if you’ll stay friends or start dating other people. You might also be thinking about the past. You might be thinking about why you broke up. You might be thinking about what happened. There are a lot of things you might want to do when you’re going through a breakup. But don’t do any of them.
Here’s why.
A breakup is a bad time for talking about the future. Why? Because you’re in a bad mood, and you don’t have the best intentions. You might say something that you’ll regret later. When you’re in the middle of a breakup, you might want to make promises. You might want to tell your ex that you’ll call every day, you’ll never think about someone else, etc.
But don’t do this.
When you’re in the middle of a breakup, you’re not thinking clearly. You’re probably thinking about how you were wronged, and you’re probably thinking about how much you care for your ex.
It’s not the right time to make promises. You’re thinking too much about yourself and not enough about your ex. You’re also not thinking about the future. You’re not thinking about what comes next. Instead, focus on yourself. Focus on your feelings. Focus on your needs. Focus on what you need. Focus on what you want. The only thing you should promise is that you’ll be the best possible version of yourself. Don’t talk about the future. Don’t make promises.
Don’t focus on what they did wrong, or what could have been
When you’re breaking up with someone, you’ll probably have a lot of feelings. Some of these feelings might be anger, frustration, sadness, and even fear. However, the only thing you need to worry about is making sure you’re both ready to move on. While you might be angry about what they did wrong, the reality is that the situation is out of your control. That’s why you need to focus on how to move forward.
Let’s say you were in a relationship with someone for 3 years. You’ve known them for 8 years, and they’ve known you for 5 years. Your feelings might be hurt, but you’re not going to be angry at them for 3 years. You’re not going to be mad at them for 8 years. You’re going to be mad at the fact that you’re moving on. That’s all you should be thinking about. Don’t think about what they did wrong, or what could have been. Instead, think about the future and how you’re going to make it work for you.
Don’t blame it on others
When you’re trying to figure out what to do after a breakup, don’t blame it on others. Don’t say, “I broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated on me,” or “I broke up with my girlfriend because she cheated on me.” You’re more than capable of deciding to break up with someone without being influenced by the actions of others. If you’re trying to make sense of the situation and work through it, you won’t be able to put much blame on anyone else. Instead, take responsibility for yourself. Be honest with yourself and say, “I made a decision to end this relationship.” Then, focus on the things you can change. If you’re feeling bad about the situation, you can try talking to a close friend or family member. They may be able to offer you some guidance and perspective. If you’re feeling lonely or depressed, talk to a professional. This can be a therapist, a pastor, or a life coach. Someone who has a good understanding of the human condition can help you move forward.
Don’t be too needy, demanding, or controlling
I’m not saying you shouldn’t be needy, demanding, or controlling after a breakup. These are things that you need to do. However, you don’t need to do them to the extreme. You don’t need to be clingy and cling to your ex, for example. It’s okay to check in with them from time to time, but you should do so in a respectful, non-intrusive manner. And you don’t need to make all of your ex’s decisions for them. If you’ve made a mistake in your relationship, don’t try to make it right by forcing them to change their mind about the future. If you want to move on, then you need to start moving on. And that means letting go.
Get your mind off the past
After a breakup, you’re going to have to get your mind off of the past. If you’re obsessing about your ex, you’re going to have a difficult time moving on. So, you need to put the past behind you and get yourself back into a healthy, happy place. You might feel like you don’t have any other options, but I can assure you that there are options. There are plenty of ways to get your mind off of the past, including going on a vacation, taking up a new hobby, or simply spending more time with family and friends. Get your mind off of the past and get yourself back into a healthy, happy place.
Don’t let things linger
I’ve seen many situations where couples go through an argument or breakup, and then they just let things linger. They may not talk to each other for months, maybe even years. But this is a big mistake. While it’s normal to have a short period of time where you’re not speaking to the person you were with, you don’t have to let it linger.
There are a number of things you can do to move on quickly and start dating again…
- Write a breakup letter.
- Tell your ex you’re moving on.
- Say goodbye.
- Delete your relationship from social media.
- Get rid of your relationship.
- Delete the photos you took together.
- Give yourself time.
- Take care of yourself.
- Talk to a friend.
- Start dating.
Each of these steps can be done as soon as you’re ready. Don’t wait to do these things. If you want to move on, do it quickly and get on with your life.
Don’t dwell on the pain
When you break up with someone, you’re likely going to feel a lot of emotions. From anger to sadness to confusion, it’s normal. You may feel a lot of guilt if you cheated on your ex. Or, you might feel relief because you realized they weren’t the right person for you. No matter how you feel, it’s important to keep moving forward. Remember, you’re still in love with them. If you don’t let them go, you’ll always regret it. When you’re in the middle of a breakup, it’s easy to think about how it’s going to affect the future.
You might wonder:
• Will you ever get over them?
• Will you ever date anyone else?
• Will you ever be able to have a healthy relationship again?
It’s important to realize that the past doesn’t define your future. You can move on from a breakup and have a new, healthy relationship. Don’t worry about how the breakup is going to affect you. Don’t dwell on the pain.
Don’t make excuses
You need to take responsibility for the problems in your relationship. It’s not always easy to know exactly what went wrong, but you can usually pinpoint some of the causes. There’s no excuse for being an asshole, cheating, lying, or being abusive. Sometimes you have no idea what the problem is. Sometimes you might think you’re the only one having a problem. You need to find out.
Don’t try to find out who the other person is seeing
A lot of people think that if they find out who the other person is seeing, they’ll have leverage in the breakup. They think they can keep their ex from seeing their kids, or they can force the ex to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
You know what? It’s completely wrong. There is no way to keep someone from seeing your kids or force someone to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
That being said, you can get a good idea of the other person’s priorities. If they’re seeing your kids, then they’re likely to be more invested in the relationship and less likely to be happy with you breaking up.
So instead of trying to figure out who the other person is seeing, focus on yourself. Focus on healing and getting back on your feet. If you’re really lucky, they’ll come around to you. If not, it’s best to move on.
After you’ve been broken up for some time and your ex has moved on to another relationship, the best advice is not to become too emotionally involved with someone else just because she or he hasn’t made the effort to contact you yet. At that point, you’ve already given your ex all the attention they need to make a decision about whether or not to pursue you again.
Don’t make a big deal out of it. Remember that breakup? Well, it is over. Stop thinking about him or her all the time. Do not call every day to see how he or she is doing. This will only remind you that your relationship is over and only serve to re-traumatize you. Instead, take a step back and let it go. Move on and focus on yourself and your future. Don’t wait until your friend makes his or her first move before you decide whether you should contact them again.
I’ve compiled some tips that I found helpful after going through a breakup. I hope this will give you some clarity and help you move forward from the pain you’re experiencing.
